Solar Giant Proves Harassment Is Most Visible in Small Rooms

Note: Names of individuals and companies have been changed to protect privacy. The experiences shared are true and reflect the author’s personal account.

Flying back to the Niagara Region, after the Electricity Transformation Canada 2024 (ETC 2024) conference in Calgary, Alberta, I am filled with emotion. What I anticipated as a routine business trip became one of the most unsettling and disappointing experiences of my professional life.

Even the almonds offered by the flight attendant make me feel ill—my body is rejecting nourishment, my mind still replaying what unfolded.

I left behind two small children for the trip, one of whom became sick enough to require hospitalization. Still, I stayed composed and professional through every meeting. But now, I’m left feeling shattered, not from personal hardship, but from professional betrayal.

Tuesday night began uneventfully. I hosted a client dinner with my colleague, Raj Mehta, and a few team members from SolarNova Energy. The evening was professional and engaging—what you’d expect from a sales meeting in our industry. Afterward, Raj and I joined our colleagues to entertain another client, BrightLeaf Renewables. Again, no red flags.

But the following night, everything changed.

We met a high-value client, Northern Current, at Vintage Chophouse—an upscale restaurant in downtown Calgary. Due to the potential size of this opportunity and the additional team members expected, I invited our Co-CEO, James Miller, and account manager, Mark Devlin, to join the meeting. What was meant to be a collaborative client dinner quickly spiraled into something much darker.

From the moment we sat down, James seized every chance to undermine and insult me. Whether intentionally or inadvertently, he belittled my expertise, redirected client discussions, interrupted me, and presented Mark as the true expert, despite me being the senior representative. I felt diminished in front of the client, who, based on these interactions, likely left questioning my ability and confidence to manage their business.

The meeting lasted four hours, and without fail, James managed to cover nine different topics where I was somehow deemed inferior, unworthy and unintelligent. It felt like the longest four hours of my career.

This behaviour wasn’t just detrimental to the meeting and customer interaction—it was harmful to my mental health, both professionally and personally.

That evening triggered a profound, instinctual response in me. Despite my body's resilience in facing personal family issues during the trip, it finally succumbed to the pressure of this professional crisis. For six straight days, I couldn't eat solid food because of the severe stress from the encounter. In my 15-year sales career and 7 more years in the industry, I had never faced such a blatant lack of respect and unprofessionalism as I did during that dinner and drinks resulting in not only a harmful physical ailment along with other damaging mental health causations.

Experiencing any kind of maltreatment can be extremely overwhelming and debilitating, particularly when it affects your safety or means of living. Your mind and body switch to survival mode, making everything feel more surreal. The fight-or-flight response can result in increased isolation and what might seem like irrational outbursts to those who are unaware of the circumstances. Recognizing this natural response early on can help individuals identify their stress levels and aim to remove themselves from the situation as soon as possible.

It wasn't just about one dinner—it was about what it revealed.

On my journey home from Calgary, I unexpectedly started recalling past events I had repressed, similar to flashbacks.

In 2022, after returning from maternity leave while I was employed with the company, I was given two options: accept a 65–75% territory cut or resign. No negotiations. No accommodations. Just a “take it or leave it” scenario. Legal professionals have since confirmed this violated employment law in Ontario yet, at the time, I felt I had no other options so I offered a contractor role for sales consultancy to build up the territory. This contract since has been thrown in my face so many times I cannot even count since the transition.

Recently, after undergoing a C-section, James reached out to me less than two weeks into my leave, inquiring about my return date. With no replacement arranged within the company and feeling obvious pressure from the leadership team with him reaching out via text, I returned to my contract work that week. Although I was not fully aware of the potential risks this would have on my recovery physically, I did not anticipate how this decision would affect mental health and overall wellbeing in coming months.

All of this built up into an undeniable truth: this environment is not just toxic. It is actively harmful to my health—emotionally, physically, and professionally.

I’ve worked in sales and leadership for over a decade, despite being told repeatedly over the years how much James or other leadership teams appreciate my hard work and contributions to their companies, I’ve never experienced treatment much like this.

When I first joined Helios Solar Corp, the company culture under Paul Miller felt like family. But with the new leadership of James Miller and Alan Wilfrid as Co-CEOs, something shifted. As their influence expanded from individual departments to the entire company, so too did the culture—just not in the direction I had anticipated.

After everything that occurred, I finally voiced my profound dissatisfaction with the interaction in Calgary that night after returning from a week-long stress leave post ETC show.

When I described to him how his behavior in Calgary affected my mental, physical, and emotional well-being, James reacted with relief and even laughed, saying, 'I thought it was something serious.'

He seemed more concerned about the possibility of me accusing him of sexual harassment, highlighting how such a claim could harm his career, as if his guilty conscience was a form of victimhood, saying he was "stressed to the max all week as well." He completely disregarded the seriousness of his actions and their impact on me and my family and not only not remorseful or apologetic, he shrugged it off and downplayed his entire involvement.

It's ironic he mentioned sexual harassment because now I see how his continuous sexual harassment and misogynistic attitude were deeply rooted in their company culture. It was so normalized in meetings, public comments, and other interactions that I never considered that would be a concern for him. For a leader who frequently and openly makes inappropriate remarks to or about women and female staff (both in person or behind closed doors) and refuses to address clear sexual harassment claims reported by multiple women on the team against specific male staff for inappropriate touching and comments, it's well-known within the company culture that sexual harassment occurs, and nothing will be done if there are concerns about your safety or comfort in the workplace. This is unlikely to change for this leadership team anytime soon unless they have an epiphany... but pigs may fly sooner.

It is concerning to acknowledge that sexual harassment is tolerated within the company, but I find the explicit limitation on women's participation in high-value roles and career advancement to be even more detrimental to women in the business sector of the industry. Often, I have been the only woman in various industry settings and have not felt or noticed a significant divide among men. Most men are professional, courteous, and treat women in the industry with great respect. However, I can't shake the feeling that James' behavior might stem from a deeply rooted, ego-driven reaction to feeling threatened by a woman's strong presence and being overshadowed, leading him to undermine others to feel empowered.

I mention this because he also publicly criticized and humiliated another colleague, putting him in uncomfortable situations with his team, clients, and even impacting his family, which ultimately resulted in a prolonged departure from the company. It appears James might think he has the right to demean, insult, and criticize those he views as inferior. Again, I must express my strong disapproval of his behavior if this is true, as it would suggest he targeted me, being the only woman and the team member who consistently aims to please others.

I recognize that this is a factor in the poor treatment, even though I understand that 'Boys Clubs' can somewhat resemble the original 'Mean Girls.' However, the fact that women are a minority in the solar industry has never justified disrespectful behavior, which is largely deemed unacceptable by majority in the field. Whether James's actions were intentional, careless, or downright malicious is irrelevant to me now. The outcome remains unchanged.

I cannot thrive—or even survive—in such an environment and sought to leave, professionally, as soon as possible.

Although still experiencing PTSD and uncertain about my next steps, formally, I gave notice to end the contract with the company early November. I offered to stay to help with a replacement or by the end of the year, unless otherwise disputed by the company. I proposed an alternative contract to implement team development and leadership support to address these significant management gaps which, without any hesitation or discussion, was immediately rejected and redirected.

Despite feeling upset, I aimed to stay composed and preserve a professional relationship, so I continued to present myself as the same cheerful person in my daily interactions. I think that because I suggested an alternative option, the leadership team soon came up with an alternative arrangement as well. Although I was uncertain about whether I wanted to continue working together beyond our contract and unsure of my next steps since I hadn't planned that far ahead, I only knew I couldn't remain in that environment. Therefore, I agreed to meet for a discussion in early December.

James, Alan, and I met in person, where they presented their "really good offer" outlining launching a new product into the market. However, as anticipated, the compensation structure was imbalanced with the workload. The meeting quickly concluded with next steps to discuss again at a later date the following week.

At this point, only a handful of close colleagues within the company knew that I had ended my contract and was in discussions with them, particularly since I was maintaining a very relaxed demeanor in my daily interactions. However, no customers were informed of any changes, as it was decided that whether I continued or fully departed, we would proceed as usual until the end of the year.

Suddenly, once again, my world turned upside down.

Following our initial meeting, I had a text conversation with James on a Sunday afternoon in mid-December. What began as a casual chat quickly shifted to him pressing me for feedback on the potential role, which I neither intended nor wanted to discuss via text. After repeatedly being asked for my opinion, I expressed dissatisfaction with their offer, which did not sit well with James. He was so displeased with my feedback that he blocked me on all communication channels, including texts, phone calls, emails, and systems, and removed me from all group chats. This effectively prevented me from completing our contract agreement and eliminated any chance of negotiation.

Experiencing a loss of control twice at the hands of the same person was both terrifying and distressing, filled with anxiety due to the uncertainties involved. Despite efforts to maintain a friendly relationship, the disruption of stability was unexpected. Those familiar with this person might also find it surprising. It highlights the fact that everyone has both positive and negative traits, and we generally hope they lean towards the positive, especially when they are aware of their colleagues' sensitivities. However, this experience has made it clear that his team's mental well-being isn't a priority for him, and he lacks accountability, dismissing his behavior as a factor. After countless hours of wondering how someone I trusted like family could treat me this way, I still have no answer and do not expect to find one.

The erratic text conversation followed complete absence of any further formal communication from the company whatsoever. The sole exception was a short call from the other Co-CEO, Alan, two days later. During this call, he tried to manipulate me by asserting that my contract ended the day I gave notice nearly two months prior. He took no responsibility for James' actions and instead gave me 'advice' on negotiations in the future as if he trying to be some kind of twisted mentor figure. He positioned it like they were above this unpleasant unprofessionalism I was experiencing and that it was a 'me' problem, not them.

Four days later, I sent a detailed email outlining my experience with James on Sunday and requested written acknowledgment of the situation. I also asked for confirmation that our agreement's end date and payments would be honored. Despite including the entire management team, no one responded, increasing fears of financial burdens and social anxiety. To this day, I have not received formal notice of any change to our contract end date, yet James enforced the contract terms when I submitted my termination at the beginning of November.

This abrupt, traumatic end to my five-year working relationship with the company was devastating and further impacted my already unstable mental health.

I did not have a chance to say goodbye to longstanding customers, colleagues, friends. I was unable to depart the company relationship with dignity, respect and amicably as per professional working relationships.

I consulted a lawyer, and during a period when my mental health was at its lowest, I was fortunate to have the support of customers, colleagues, and friends who reached out to me. However, I still felt unsure about how to manage the abrupt departure with those who contacted me, aware that criticizing former companies is typically frowned upon. This only heightened my anxiety and discomfort about the situation as brows were raised, what I should discuss and what I should avoid as the extent of professional mistreatment I experienced left me feeling voiceless in and of itself.

In a small industry, it is typically unwise to reveal such negative experiences with past companies. However, after some reflection and reevaluation, what I quickly recognized is that the situation I was involved in targeted someone like myself who is a strong and outspoken individual who is typically unlikely to retreat when cornered.

I can only imagine how those in similar situations feel when they cannot advocate for themselves, whether they are timid, quiet, or unable to stand up for what is right.

Despite my reluctance to share this publicly due to professional concerns, I feel compelled to let others know that if you're in a similar situation whether a contractor or employee, you're not alone, and there are resources available to address harmful behaviors in professional environments. Also, there are other fish in the sea so to say; other employment and contract opportunities are out there. Do not settle for mistreatment by a company or leader no matter the industry influence they may hold.

These situations have impacted my finances, family life, career and relationships, professional and personal. Nonetheless, I am sharing this to let others in similar circumstances know they are not alone and should speak to someone right away—be it a doctor, friend, therapist, or professional group or if employed with the company, contact your HR department. If needed, post anonymously in Facebook groups to feel heard and regain a sense of control. Go for a walk, have coffee with a friend. Do whatever you feel is right and do not hesitate to contact a professional that can provide legal or counseling consult if necessary.

It's crucial to note that everyone encounters personal challenges that can influence their decisions and behaviors, even leaders in power. Nevertheless, if a leader at your workplace or a leader reading this fails to maintain respectful and professional standards on an ongoing basis, corrective measures must be implemented. Leaders should have the flexibility to step away from the professional setting to address personal issues, outside of work, or seek professional advice on managing their personal matters more effectively. Hiring coaches or corporate trainers to implement company standards can assist if there are immediate concerns in your workplace.

When leaders fail to manage stress, it can adversely affect their colleagues, direct team, and even the entire company, making it a costly oversight.

Regular leadership workshops and retreats that provide a space for open and nonjudgmental evaluation of the company's quality of life can swiftly assess the extent to which leadership roles involve accountability and responsibility for addressing personal issues. Leaders must handle these issues without using them as an excuse to mistreat teams or subordinates, regardless of personal circumstances. It is the leader's responsibility to be mindful of this and understand their role within the organization.

Once more, I find myself in the position of revealing many personal details about my experiences, which undeniably brings about a sense of unease and vulnerability. This discomfort stems from the inherent risk of exposing my private life, yet I am driven by a compelling desire to share these insights in hopes of potentially helping others who may be navigating similar professional situations. It is essential to me that, despite the candidness of my narrative, the privacy of the individuals involved, as well as that of their families, is safeguarded.

Therefore, in order to maintain confidentiality and respect for their personal circumstances, I have taken the necessary precaution of altering all names and companies mentioned in my accounts. By doing so, I aim to create a space where my experiences can be voiced, shared and resonate with others without compromising anyone's identity or personal information. Through this approach, my goal is to foster a sense of community and support, encouraging open dialogue about challenges faced in the professional realm while ensuring that the dignity and privacy of all parties remain intact.